I recently encountered a bit of humor regarding a popular aviation poem by John Gillespie Magee, Jr. It’s pretty funny and also pretty accurate to the FAA/TSA definition of flight. First a few words:
If you are concerned about my recent silence, I must offer my apologies. We (my wife and I) bought a house about a week and a half ago. We have been running around moving stuff and I’ve burned through the mobile phone minutes calling people about power, water, and internet. Well, long story short after about 5 phone calls and three attempts for their service people to do an install, I cancelled my non-existent Comcast internet service and I called AT&T about DSL. The end result is that I am still without internet, but I will have it within the week. Not that you came here to read me complain about Comcast and their inability to appropriately dispatch service personnel, but I felt I should offer an explanation for the recycled humor and lack of entries.
Now, on to the humor!
Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth 1,
And danced2 the skies on laughter silvered wings;
Sunward I’ve climbed3 and joined the tumbling mirth4
Of sun-split clouds5 and done a hundred things6
You have not dreamed of — Wheeled and soared and swung7
High in the sunlit silence8. Hov’ring there9
I’ve chased the shouting wind10 along and flung11
My eager craft through footless halls of air. Up, up the long delirious12, burning blue
I’ve topped the wind-swept heights13 with easy grace,
Where never lark, or even eagle14 flew;
And, while with silent, lifting mind I’ve trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space15,
Put out my hand16, and touched the face of God.
- Pilots must insure that all surly bonds have been slipped entirely before aircraft taxi or flight is attempted.
- During periods of severe sky dancing, crew and passengers must keep seatbelts fastened. Crew should wear shoulderbelts as provided.
- Sunward climbs must not exceed the maximum permitted aircraft ceiling.
- Passenger aircraft are prohibited from joining the tumbling mirth.
- Pilots flying through sun-split clouds under VFR conditions must comply with all applicable minimum clearances.
- Do not perform these hundred things in front of Federal Aviation Administration inspectors.
- Wheeling, soaring, and swinging will not be attempted except in aircraft rated for such activities and within utility class weight limits.
- Be advised that sunlit silence will occur only when a major engine malfunction has occurred.
- “Hov’ring there” will constitute a highly reliable signal that a flight emergency is imminent.
- Forecasts of shouting winds are available from the local FSS. Encounters with unexpectedshouting winds should be reported by pilots.
- Pilots flinging eager craft through footless halls of air are reminded that they alone are responsible for maintaining separation from other eager craft.
- Should any crewmember or passenger experience delirium while in the burning blue, submit an irregularity report upon flight termination.
- Windswept heights will be topped by a minimum of 1,000 feet to maintain VFR minimum separations.
- Aircraft engine ingestion of, or impact with, larks or eagles should be reported to the FAA and the appropriate aircraft maintenance facility.
- Aircraft operating in the high untresspassed sanctity of space must remain in IFR flight regardless of meteorological conditions and visibility.
- Pilots and passengers are reminded that opening doors or windows in order to touch the face of God may result in loss of cabin pressure.
-Author Unknown